Over coming Addiction

I am addicted to CHOCOLATE.

There, I finally admitted it. I feel so much better now that is all out in the open.

Now does anyone have a ten step plan I could try, and a mentor to call when I am feeling weak?

Hmm... Where should I put this?

~I would put in the nightmare box that holds all things Polly.
~My husband would put it in the trash.
~Girly number 1 would stash it in her secret hoarding purse, found under her pillow.
~The boy would put it in the back of his memory for later consumption when he is mobile.
~Girly number 2 would shove it in a small hole so that no one else would ever want to touch it and she would never have to be without it.

Can you guess where that might be?

1000 meaningless points to you if you guessed her right nostril!

What do you do when there is a shoe up your child's nose and you can't get it even though you probed with your good tweezers? And she WILL NOT blow her nose......Did you know that you can hold a tissue to the nose of a 3 year old for a long time but you can't force them to blow their shoe sniffin' schnoz!!?
After my failed retrieval attempts I realized that insta-care closed in 7 minutes and we would have to fork out the cash for the ER. (I was cursing Polly Pocket and her silicone accessories!)

I loaded the offending child into the car at 9pm and drove to the stinkin' emergency room.
When I got there I called the family help hot line (the sister-in-law with 7 kids) and received some counseling. Her husband told me to stick some pepper in her nose to make her sneeze. (that has worked for them in the past)
I had just run out of my pepper stash that I keep in the car, so instead I told the little nose monger the doctor would hold her down and take a sharp tool to dig the shoe out of her nose, or she could try and blow really really hard. She picked the latter and the dang shoe popped out into the tissue.

Moral of the story ,threaten your kids before you drive to the ER parking lot, because 20 minutes is a long drive when all you really need is a tissue.

Not machine washable

This morning I was doing a little household/offspring maintenance. You know the regular bathe the baby, start the laundry kind of thing.
My cute boy had soaked through his jammies so when I stripped him for a bath, I set the pajamas in the sink until they could take a turn in the washer.
Somehow I also set his diaper in that pile of clothes. (His dirty diaper, not a clean one.) I washed him and put him down for a nap and tossed his jammies in the washer. (The diaper went in too!!!!)
I went to move the clothes to the dryer and I found the most horrifying stay-puffed marshmallow diaper you can ever imagine. Think Jaba the Hut in the local pool with a diaper on. It was that bad. And even worse the poo and stuff was all washed away. ( or is that a good thing?) I saved it and showed it to Mark. Let's just say his reaction was that he was impressed that the diaper could with stand prolonged agitation, and not concerned that his wife is the one left caring for the children.

Note to self: disposable diapers are not interchangeable with cloth

The Tooth Fairy is Overworked

If anyone in your family is in need of a dental extraction please send them on over. Teeth are falling out of heads in this house.

Last night #1 girl had a wiggly tooth. She showed it to me and mentioned that it felt funny and loose. Next thing I know she had plucked it from her mouth and stashed it under her pillow. She was then expecting the financial handout that comes in the night and slides sneakily under her sleeping Cranium.

Who invented the Tooth Fairy anyway? She is seriously killing my spending cash.
I had to raid Mark's wallet for a buck to pay off the girl number 1.

I am going to negotiate a new payment method with the children. Something that doesn't require me to remember things before falling into bed.

Maybe a get out of brushing for a night free card. That's almost the equivalent of a dollar right?

Plastic Bubbles

I am shopping on line for large plastic bubbles that can house growing children for the next 10 to 15 years. After I find those I am going to pad their rooms and sterilize all their toys and clothing. Maybe then we will be able to avoid further injury to body and mind; mine and the children's.

Today little sister had her 2 front teeth "gently removed". I tried not to cry as the dentist told me her fate. He said we could remove one today and the other probably within the next 3 months. I decided to to all the owie stuff at once so she didn't have to get shots in the roof of her mouth twice.

It is a sad day. She seems fine, but has a little lisp when she talks now.

I wonder if she would have to ride in a car seat if she was swathed in bubble wrap instead? Hmm...

All I want for Christmas...

Last summer we had a little tooth incident. Girly number one was carrying girly number 2 and fell on top of her on the sidewalk, smashing number2's top front teeth into the pavement.
We saw some dentists, took some x-rays and hoped for the best. Her teeth turned a bit yellow, but didn't die. The dentist said we were good to go unless they abscessed.
Fast forward to last Thursday. While at Target my little cutie mentioned her lip hurt. I took a peek and AN ABSCESS!!!
Of course our dental professional was out of town, so we saw some random, but nice, mad named DR. PANEC. (pronounced PANIC) Not such a comforting name for a doctor of any sort.

He took an x-ray and doomed my girls front tooth to certain doom.
We made an appointment for Monday with a pediatric dentist and I am preparing for the worst.

Did I mention that if they pull it it will delay her permanent tooth coming in.

We may change her name to Billy Bob and start dressing her in overalls.

Poor girl.

At least she will have some great pictures for her wedding video.

I was LATE!

Today was the 6th day of Kindergarten. I drove to school to pick up my little cutie. School ends at 2:00, I got there at 1:50, feeling great that for once I was early. I peeked in the office to grab a school lunch form, because I had some time, and there were so many kids I decided to get the girl first and come back. As I walked away there was a rush of feet and a frantic call "Mom WAIT!!". What was my girl doing in the office, tear stained and bedraggled? Was she hurt, or in trouble?

No, it turns out school ended at 1:20, and I was 25 minutes late! It was really sad. I got a little teary eyed at the thought of her being escorted to the office because I am a loser parent.

Poor girl.
Next time I will check the calendar a little closer.

A Tale of Two Kitties

This tale is still in the developing stages. So far is does involve a jail of sorts, and some minor events of torture and possible mental anguish. I am hoping there won't have to be any beheading. Only time will tell.

The basic details are that we got cats. Yes, I mean more than one. We have two 3 month old little tabbys. We are now cat people. ( That was really hard for me to type) We are not cat people like the lady who has 19 indoor cats and 9 outdoor cats, but to some, the number matters not.

Right now they are sequestered in the bathroom, aka the tiled prison, their only place to hide is....behind the toilet.

They are awaiting their fate of being kicked to the garage (or possibly the curb if my kids keep whining).
In the interim we send the girls in to help the cats in their transition. Helping with transition is really a kind name for little kitty torture.

Girl #1 has only forced one of their heads to the bottom of the water bowl for a "drink", and girl 2 swears that they like it when you drag them from behind the toilet by the leg. I am nervous that their are other methods of kitty doom in the developmental stages.

The poor little things are really cute and were friendly until yesterday. I am hoping that we can keep them from needing 24 medication from the trauma of becoming part of our family.

They stink, and are messier than I thought but for my kids I am willing to try and overcome my issues.

The girls are so happy.

If the cute little hairballs live I will be on the good mommy list for a long time.

I will keep you posted.